Mama says don't speak in the 3rd person

Somewhere on this road to/through motherhood, I picked up the most annoying habit. So annoying, it even annoys me, but I can't seem to stop it. This mama has been speaking about herself in the third person. See? It's annoying.

I don't know how it came about, but I'm sure lil a will know who I am, even without me mentioning my own name to him every time I do something. "Mama needs to clean her hands." "Mama needs to wipe off the boogers you just sneezed at her." It goes on and on. The worst part is when I accidentally do it when talking to other adults. Yeah, I need to get out more.

That being said, there are some advantageous sides of the whole 3rd person thing. "I think daddy needs to change your bum!" works wonders in this house.

Neck Cleaning

My baby is a chubby little monkey. He's got rolls of fat coming off him, presumably protecting him from the dangerous life of the baby-makes-three family. (Someone must've known he was in a for quite a ride.) This has resulted in the creation of a quite a few chin rolls, which can trap anything and everything that gets in the way. (I've heard rumors that the missing WMDs might be there...Osama...is that you in there?) The sucky thing is that when stuff gets trapped there, it's really hard to clean it out. If you don't get it clean though, it gets all red and even smelly (I've heard. My child smells like lilacs on a warm spring day. Always.)

Anyway, we were having our weekly breakfast with the VW family and papa VW had such a great tip. If you lift the baby above you, airplane style, the chin rolls are exposed and you can clean them out! This is a two person job, unless you can lift your baby and wipe at the same time (what a feat!).

Turkeys

Me: "What are you doing?!?!"

Eno: "I was trying to scare the turkeys."

Me: "Well, you just scared your wife."

Eno: "Then it worked."

Manhands

I have manhands, apparently. I never knew it until we went to get lil a's 3 month pictures taken. You see, I was not prepared to be in any of the pictures. This post-partum belly is not prepared to be in ANY picture, let alone a professional one taken with someone as adorable as lil a. Anyway, when we got there the photographer asked if we wanted to be in any of the pictures. I laughed and said no. Later, she asked if it was OK if my hands were in a picture or two. I looked down at my mangy hands and thought, how bad can it really be?

The hubby has a special place in his heart for hand-pictures. When we got married, all he could talk about was getting the picture of our hands over the marriage certificate. We never did get that picture and I was not about to take this hand-picture opportunity away from him now.

So I knelt down and held my son's lovely little hand in my claw. Here's the result:








Might be hard to see -- here's a closer picture:










Maybe I don't have manhands; I have gorilla hands.

Come one, come all to the greatest show on earth!

We run a small circus here in our house. Well, not a cute, bring-the-kids-for-a-fun-day-out circus. Mostly we have just the circus freaks -- the sideshow. Here are the main players:

The Amazing Escapo
This feline can break out of any room, closet or cage. He has been known to open doors by hanging on the handle and then pulling them open. Last night, he was stuck in a closet and we awoke to the startling sounds of his escape attempt.






The Spectacular Canine Garbage Disposal
He may be cute, but he can eat you out of house and home - literally. In the past, he has pushed over garbage cans at least 3 times his size, only to eat the entire remants of the previous night's buffalo wings. Yes, he ate all the bones and lived to tell. Lately, he's taken to eating laundry again -- particularly the socks and the crotch of pants. Sadly, this causes the SCGD to have bad tummy aches and even aggrevates his epilepsy. Luckily he is so committed to his craft you can be guaranteed to see more of this shocking behavior.


The Ringmaster
Like the ringmaster at a circus, this girl runs the show. She rounds up all the other freaks in the house and forces them to do her will. She's been known to pin down Escapo and chew on his ear. Even he can't escape that.




The incredible growing baby
You can almost watch him grow out of his clothing.

Upcoming Travel

Me, the hubby and the little one are going to be heading to LA in April. I have to go to a conference for work; since I'm still nursing the rest of the family is coming along as well. I've been searching for information on travelling with an infant. Here are some of the sites I've found so far:

• Transportation Security Administration - info on taking an infant through security checkpoints


• CS Mott Children's Hospital - good information on air and car travel.


• Parenthood.com - good general info on air travel.
  

Since lil a is still so small, I don't think we're going to get him his own seat. The flight is about 2.5 hours, so hopefully he will be ok.

Why my baby is like Jack Bauer

An unlikely comparison, yes, but lil a is more like Bauer than you might expect. For one, he had no problem using torture when necessary. Take for instance last night: he skillfully used bloodcurdling screams to get me and his father to behave as he wished. I'm waiting for him to pull out a device for Chinese Water Torture.

Like Bauer, just when you think you've got him cornered, he pulls a fast one on you. It seems that every time we think we have him figured out, he changes his routine. He's been on a pretty set schedule (he set it himself, just as Bauer would), but just as we've gotten comfortable with it, he switches it up. No more sleeping from 10 pm to 2 am. Last night, he decided to get up at 11:30, 2:30, 5 and 6. Who knows what today will bring - it might be the longest day of my life too.

Finally, you never see him take a bathroom break. (Maybe Jack is sporting Pampers too!)

And baby makes three (or five...or seven)

It's time to explain the title of this blog. You see, in our house, we have me, my husband, Lil' A, two dogs and two cats. So on any given day, depending on how the dogs are behaving, and whether the cats are running around like a pack of cheetahs, it feels like I'm home with 5 children. One of the dogs, Lucy, is a puppy, so at times I definitely have my hands full.

Strollerphobia

I was reading over on bloggingbaby about a new stroller that just came out. I guess it allows an older child to ride standing up, while the younger kid is in the normal stroller position.

This sounds pretty cool, but I have to confess something: I have strollerphobia. For some reason, those things just scream uncool to me, however useful they may be. I guess, in my head, they really scream "YOU ARE SO OLD, LIVING IN SUBURBIA. WHERE'S THE MINIVAN I SHOULD BE RIDING IN?" The hubby and I have vowed to not even purchase one until the babe is too heavy to be worn in a sling or in the Bjorn.

We borrowed a stroller from my friends for a day and I still feel the same way. That thing was a beast. I'll admit it was convenient when we were shopping, but it still felt weird to be using it.

Of course, we were blessed with the baby that's gained a pound a week (that's right -- a whole freakin' pound), so the days we can still carry him are getting numbered.

Nanny? Babysitter?

I'm one of the lucky ones. I have a great job that pays well and I get to work from home. While I realize how incredibly fortunate I am, this situation does present its own set of issues. For one, I get extreme cabin-fever after a week with no meetings or out-of-home excursions. The other, more pressing issue is that there are times when I need to go into the office. That means I need to find someone to watch Lil' A while I'm gone.

Let me set this up for you: we moved to the 'Couv about 4 years ago. We have no family here. My parents live 6 hours away (driving) as do my hubby's. Since Lil' A was born, my mom has been here a lot, but starting in March, I think we'll see her a lot less.

I'm totally worried about what I'm supposed to do if I have to go in for a few hours. For now, our only plan is to have Eno take time away from work while I run in. It's true, many times I can bring the baby with me, especially if it's an informal meeting, or if I just have to drop something off. But I'm just waiting for the time that my boss asks me to come in on short-notice...what will I do then?

I've tried to find someone to come to the house for a day or two a week to help out. That could be the day I set as the time I can come in -- other times are just not possible. But I've been unsuccessful so far in the search. I wonder what other work-at-home moms do?

3 Month Pictures

Sunday Lil' A turned 3 months old, so we took him to the mall to get some pictures taken. The whole experience was great until we went back to look at the proofs. It turns out that even though the camera they used to take the pics was digital and you review the proofs on a computer, they will not allow you to purchase digital images of the pics. The pictures themselves turned out fantastic, but I left mad. While I did order some actual prints, I also want the images so I can email them around.

Argh. For his 6 months pics, we're going somewhere else.

Swedish Fish

Lil' A seems to have an aversion to any food of the red, gummy variety. It seems that each time I eat Swedish Fish or now, even Twizzlers, I earn not only utter satisfaction, but also a screaming baby who just can't seem to get settled.

It seems odd that this could actually be the problem, but I swear anytime I eat said gummy delectables, this happens. Last night, we actually moved the rocking chair from the nursery to our bedroom so that I could more comfortably rock him to sleep (read: while watching TV).

At least he doesn't seem to mind most of my other favorite things, like lumpia.